How’s it going? You can answer that; however, you really don’t have to because I already know. It’s you, or well the forty-year-old version of you in 2022. Yep, you are getting a letter from the future (How Doctor Who this is! Or Viktor Frankl!). There are all sorts of things I could tell you, but as you know, those would be spoilers and what fun would that be? Tons – I know but still you’re getting nothing except a small glimpse. Our kid is adorable and clever. Our partner is taking on the world with you, and most see our job as challenging, but we, of course, see it as fun. Sure there are some problems here and there, but overall, our life is grand, and this is why I am writing to you. This coming year is crucial to getting to where you are in 2022, so I have outlined the ten tasks you need to take on for 2014.
Without any further ado, here are your New Year Resolutions/Tasks:
1. Listen to John Donne – Don’t Be an Island.
Sure islands are pretty and tempting, but fight your urge to become one. You actually have made quite a bit of progress in this area, and it is a challenge you will always have as your introverted self. However, you are getting better with connecting and building bridges to others. Keep doing it!
2. Extend the Self-Mandated Year of Being Single to All of 2014.
Sure this may seem at first to contradict #1, but it doesn’t. You’re finding yourself, and the lens of singleness is definitely helping you do so. If you do meet your soul mate this year (remember – no spoilers from me), there are always loopholes because, well, there always are, and you are the king of finding them.
3. Seriously, Finish a Draft of the Novel.
You know how I just said there are always loopholes – it isn’t true with this one. You have known the end of your novel since the second day the thought of this story came into your mind. What was that? Over a decade ago? Yep, this is the year to finish the draft. Once again, no loopholes so no random nuclear explosions, meteors, alien attacks, etc. coming out of nowhere and robbing the draft from its rightful ending.
4. Don’t Be a Nice Guy. Be a Good Guy.
You’ve been joking about this quite a bit lately, but it’s time to transform. Nice guys do finish last. There are quite a few songs and stories to prove that, so don’t be a nice guy anymore. However, don’t become jaded. Rather, be a good guy. Think Hans Solo and Indiana Jones – definitely not nice guys but they are good guys. Be like them.
5. Be a Better Friend to Your Friends.
Stop wasting your time trying to hold onto people who really don’t care to be in your life. If they show no interest, seriously, let them go. Refocus that energy into your actual friendships. You have so many amazing people in your life, and you unfortunately seem to make just cameo appearances into their world. Become a more frequent guest star (or perhaps, even better, a regular). Don’t let these friends slip away. You will greatly regret it.
6. Spend at Least 2 Months of 2014 on a Budget Based upon Minimum Wage.
Remember a couple years ago when you tried to live a month on a minimum wage budget? It is time to try that again. This time, though, go for two months (and they don’t have to be back-to-back).
The songs, movies, and TV shows are right. Take lessons and learn how to dance all sorts of dances. You won’t regret it, and trust me when I say that this definitely comes in handy. Hint, hint.
8. Get in the Best Shape of Your Life.
Pack on ten pounds of muscle. Become a member of the Concept2 Million Meter Club. Get your body fat percentage to 10% or below. Cycle at least a thousand miles this year. To achieve these four goals, you are going to have to take good care of yourself, eat nutritious foods, and get plenty of sleep.
9. Carry on a 15 Minute Conversation in Spanish.
You have so many people around you right now who are fluent in Spanish. Don’t miss this opportunity to learn the language, so dust off Rosetta Stone and practice with your friends. This in turn will help you with #1 and #5 too!
10. No Bed for You If There Are Dirty Dishes, Dirty Counters, and/or Dirty/Clean Clothes Needing Attention.
Out of all of these tasks, this is going to be strangely the hardest for you, but really, you can’t go to sleep unless all the dishes are washed and the counters are wiped down. Plus, get into a habit of putting away your clothes once they come out of the dryer rather than building a mountain of clean clothes on the guest bed. Furthermore, you know that really nice laundry hamper your mother bought you? Use it every night! It really isn’t that hard. These are just habits you need to work into your system. You and your future partner will be very thankful that you did. You should probably make your bed every morning too. That would be very nice as well.
And that brings the ten tasks to a close. For extra credit, be able to play at least one song on the violin by the year’s end. Kim thinks “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” is a good goal for you, but you can surpass that one. Trust me, for I should know.
Plus, you are going to need to blog. This way, you can stay accountable for these resolutions. While you are at it, be sure to stick with New Recipe Sunday. After all, it is what led to the idea of this blog in the first place.
Last but definitely not least, remember life is an adventure and you are an explorer. Go have fun!
I will be back in a year with some other fun tasks for 2015, but don’t worry about those now. Rather, just smile because 2014 is going to be amazing!
Take care and remember I have full faith in your accomplishing all of these tasks because, well, I already did.